There is one thing every married person will tell you; “marriage is hard”. The honeymoon may be picture perfect, but once life settles in, challenges are inevitable.

Every relationship is different, but the difficulties are often the same.

If your marriage is important to you, think of relationship challenges as an opportunity to reach out and take your partnership to the next level. You can hire a personal trainer to get fit – why not get some help to improve and strengthen your relationship? Striving for a healthy relationship is where a clinical psychologist comes in. Getting perspective and someone who can point you in the right direction can make all the difference.

Here are five common problems that can follow “I do”.

1. Communication
Poor communication is at the heart of most relationship troubles – feeling misunderstood or not heard by your partner is a regular complaint. Sometimes, simply listening and communicating are the hardest things to do. Speaking clearly, expressing your feelings and listening with an open mind can seem impossible during heated discussions.

2. Boundaries
Once married, it’s pretty common for one spouse to try and change the other and the reasons are often with good intention. Whether it’s fashion sense, hobbies, or fundamental beliefs, trying to change your spouse can leave them feeling disrespected, hurt, or angry. Treating this as normal or routine is a common path towards breakdown of relationships. Marriage is always a time for careful and sensitive negotiation.

3. Intimacy
Each person has different emotional and physical needs and communicating these is not always easy. Sometimes these problems don’t become apparent until long after the honeymoon is over. Many couples stick their head in the sand hoping problems with intimacy go away – they rarely do.

4. Infidelity
There are many reasons for infidelity and one in two marriages will be affected by this betrayal. Couples cope in different ways, whether ignoring it, leveraging guilt or enacting their own infidelity as revenge. It can mean the end of a relationship for some, but for others it’s an opportunity to heal and grow.

5. Trust
Without trust, a healthy marriage cannot exist. When a spouse cheats, lies, or breaks a promise, it can be devastating to the relationship and trust is broken. Many will seek to protect themselves, retreat from their partner and the relationship, closing the door to possible resolution. Rebuilding trust can seem impossible.
To love is to be willing to take a risk and to be vulnerable.
When a relationship is struggling, some couples find walking away to be easier than facing their problems. Others stay trying to ignore the issues, hoping they will go away – they never do. Every relationship has its ups and downs and not all marriages can or should be saved. Getting help can either repair the relationship, or give you a better frame of mind if separation is best.

Repairing a relationship is no easy task and both partners must be committed to improving the relationship. Working with a clinical psychologist can help foster good communication, heal past emotional injuries, identify bad habits and turn a troubled relationship into a great one.

Yes, marriage can be hard, but nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. Life is too short to settle for anything less than your #bestlife.

www.fulhamconsulting.com.au